It's been a terrible couple of weeks. Stories of LGBTQetc youth killing themselves have been hitting the web, it seems, every couple of days. It's been so intense that many, many people have begun talking about queer youth suicide. People have been railing about it, howling about it. Well bless everyone who's been doing that. And bless Dan Savage for starting up the It Gets Better Project on YouTube. This is my contribution to that project.
NOTE: THE FIRST 10 SECONDS OF THE VIDEO ARE GREY-ED OUT. I DON'T KNOW WHY!
BUT... IT GETS BETTER. OK. NOW YOU CAN WATCH IT.
In my video, I promise folks that they can come to this blog and get yourself a Get Out of Hell Free card. Well, click here to get your card. You can print it out and carry it around with you. Heck, you can even make copies and hand 'em out to your friends.
Here's how it works: you do whatever it takes to make your life more worth living. Anything. Anything at all. It can be immoral, unethical, or illegal (can't help you if you get caught on the illegal stuff). It can even be self-destructive. I often do self-destructive things because it seems to me—when I'm really down in the depths—that only the self-destructive stuff is gonna make life more worth living.
So... you do anything it takes—anything at all—to make your life more worth living. There's only one rule that makes that sort of blanket permission work: Don't be mean. That's the only rule you ever need to follow to make sure that your life is gonna get better.
If you're not mean, you can do anything it takes to make your life more worth living. And if you get sent to Hell for doing something that wasn't mean to someone? Hang on to the card. Give it to Satan. I'll do your time for you. Yep. I told Satan I'd do that, and Satan agreed that'd be a fun thing to do for all of us.
It takes true courage to follow your outlaw identities and desires in the world. Doing that nearly always ends you up with less worldly power. But I promise: you can always do something to make your life better every single day of your freaky geeky life.
Go do that, right now. Please.
kiss kiss
Your Auntie Kate
Hi Kate,
It really does get better, you just have to go do whatever it takes to make it so. I'm a post-op TS and I recently went through my own journey to improve my life, as I felt like I had paused somewhere in my transition and had not made any progress in quite some time. I had never gone and created a sex-life for myself after my operation, for over eight years. I became inspired by some sex blogs written by some women who were fully self-actualized and knew how to go get what they want. I have since created my own blog to share my experiences. I hope that it may inspire some other transgendered people to go and do whatever it takes to find their own fulfillment. My blog address is http://nailsbynatasha.blogspot.com. I hope someone out there finds it inspirational, or at least interesting.
Posted by: Natasha | July 05, 2011 at 10:42 AM
hi, i randomly read your book while i wanted to kill myself a few years ago. i am gender queer and so is my husband/wife, who just told me that he wants to be a woman sometimes. i came across your 'it gets better' video researching cross-dressing. i can't believe you are the same person who wrote that book. i really might have done it but that book helped a lot.
Posted by: jw | November 01, 2011 at 03:32 PM
Your words are very powerful & enlightening, i hope one day my story will have an impact on others.....please continue your great work
Posted by: Tia | December 09, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Kate your awesome and thank you for that. I might submit my own video too providing hope and words of encouragement to the lgbt community.
Posted by: lgbt advocate | February 23, 2012 at 07:17 PM
Kate -
I hope you remember me - I drove you to UNC for you to speak at the college in Greeley, Colorado about three years ago. It was such an honor to meet you and I just wanted you to know that I miss you and think about you and our meeting often - I hope we will be able to meet again.
Much love,
Georgia Lichter-Tournai
gstunnah@gmail.com
I'm on facebook, too :)
Posted by: Georgia Lichter-Tournai | March 14, 2012 at 01:11 PM
Dear Kate
I am a 19 year old freaky geeky arty girl loving girl from South Africa. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to commit suicide. I have recovered from depression (mostly) for 2 years now and am in a long term lesbian relationship...which can be pretty rough at times. If only I had found your video when I was 17 and truly in the depths of despair and thinking of ending it. I love you. I still watch this video every time I feel worthless, alone, filled with guilt and regret or whenever I truly feel I can't go on. thank you so much for being you and for sharing yourself with us. Even though I have never met you, I feel as if you have held my hand in times of need.
Love Love
CyanideGirl
Posted by: Sanam | April 01, 2012 at 01:29 PM
I wants myself a copy of Hello Cruel World. Sigh <3
mwah auntie Kate
Posted by: Sanam | April 01, 2012 at 01:50 PM